“Go and play” is for adults too – and it’s *not* optional

(So break out the roller skates)

“Go and play” is for adults too – and it’s not optional

“Now go and play” is a phrase that many a mother will say – again and again – to her toddler or young child over her years of parenting. If she has multiple children, she may say it 1000 times. Maybe more.

Why does she say it? Because play is the domain of the child. It’s what a child does and ought to do, to learn and grow as well as be entertained. If said child is pestering or whining or getting into mischief, then “go and play” is the solution to the problem. Mother is saying: replace this negative behavior with this other behavior, a positive one. She pictures something gainful and engaging: a set of trains, a ball and hoop, a pile of beads, a dollhouse, maybe a jump rope or trampoline.

OK but now we need to understand what play is, because those activities are wildly varied. We know innately but need words. To play is “to engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.”

It’s something you do specifically to bring about fun, to accomplish nothing.

Do you play? Should you? After all, we are not children.

The answer, natural law says, is yes. We should play. Play is one of the basic goods. It fact, our flourishing depends on our pursuing play. When we amuse ourselves by doing things that are active, creative, industrious… we thrive. When we don’t amuse ourselves in those ways, we thrive less (or even decline). We need recreation – another word for play – to be human, at least the best version of ourselves as human.

If you don’t believe me, picture 35-year-old Doreen who takes a dip in a lake on a summer day, does a crossword with her morning coffee, knits her mom a scarf for Christmas, snowshoes across a winter field, gets beaten by her son in Connect 4 while waiting the pasta water boils. Compare her to 35-year-old Tessa who does none of those things – who simply works and eats and acquires things and has conversations and walks on a treadmill and sleeps. Who has a fuller life?

Doreen. In her day, because she plays, she is involved in periods of experimentation, creativity, exploration, curiosity, problem-solving. These are recreation’s byproducts (and note that unlike pursuing pleasure-seeking for its own sake. they weren’t the end in themselves). Tessa gets none of that.

So the person who engages in recreation, who plays, is better off than one who doesn’t. Aristotle made the point first, more than 2000 years ago, in his comments on noble leisure. And today the scientists have verified it empirically; researchers have concluded that “Play is so fundamental that neglecting it poses a significant health risk.” But neglect it, we do. In Digital Minimalism, sociologist Cal Newport says that today, “more and more people are failing to cultivate the high-quality leisure lives that Aristotle identifies as crucial for human happiness. This leaves a void that would be near unbearable if confronted, but that can be ignored with the help of digital noise.” Ain’t that the truth! Devices make the shortage of play we adults experience notably worse (and makes us, for a time, blind to the effects of our act). Because you need to be intentional to play; you need to plan for and practice it. And devices make us passive… And things we do on our phone virtually never count as “play” because they don’t at all accrue for us the fruits of play.

One of today’s best thinkers on the topic of play is Catherine Price, whose Substack is aptly titled How to Feel Alive. She conceptualizes fun as a mixture of playfulness, connection, and flow, and I think it’s a powerful description. Her rendering gets at the heart of what true recreation, true play, actually is. It being intentional about doing wholesome, non-productive things that enhance your whole person – body, spirit, mind. And very often, as Price demonstrates, play does involve other people; there is often a “connection” piece. Many games require at least two people (and often many more). Knitters and quilters form circles to create and recreate together. The youth group plans a ski trip so all the kids can ski together. In this, the goods of play and friendship can overlap.

Like most of my era, I’m not that great at prioritizing play. Life feels too busy, and the to-do list is too long. At times it can even feel selfish – so many pressing needs in the world (and so much laundry to do right here in my own house), is it right for me to be doing this puzzle right now? For me to take the morning to go for a hike?

Again - thank you, natural law, that the answer is yes. (Within reason, that is, because we pursue a balance of goods over time and must not overdose on any one, including play). Play is a good, a basic good. When we pursue it well and regularly, as with the other basic goods, it slowly builds virtues within us. And over time we flourish.

Time to break out the roller skates and the knitting needles!