The best sleep he ever got, and the 3 parts of the self
Of New Zealand... and body, spirit, and mind
We saved our pennies for a year and took an epic journey to New Zealand, full of sheep and farm visits, sights and treks. It was the year before our first child was born, and we were enchanted – truly – by the land. Here’s the comedy: of all the things we talk about from that trip, now 18 years ago, the one the probably comes up the most is how well my husband slept during those two weeks. Like a baby.
He’s a terrible sleeper, you see, and has been for the 25 years we’ve been together. Sleep eludes him, and sleeplessness plagues him. Perhaps you know someone like that. But in New Zealand? The sleep was deep and sound, refreshing and full of vivid dreams. A novel experience for him.
Sleep is one of those things. It’s a body thing, right? A physical function. It’s biology: we need sleep, and our sleep repairs and restores our organs. It’s also a feeling thing: we feel tired, so we take a nap. Or we feel dread, lying down, if we know we can’t fall or stay asleep – or discouragement when we wake at 2 AM. Finally it’s a mind thing: an over-active mind and All The Thoughts keep us from falling asleep, or wake us in the night.
The stars aligned for my husband in New Zealand… His brain’s threat alert fell from red to green, his quieter thoughts linked arms with restful emotions, and those collaborated with his body to foster great Z’s. Amen and hallelujah.
Why is this helpful? Because it shows how we humans are made up of three parts, and they’re all interconnected.
Our bodies are our physical essence in the world, with their biological forms and functions. Our emotions and instincts, called our “spirit,” is where we feel things – tired, hungry, angry, cold, frightened, excited, jealous. Our mind, called our “rational nature” is where we think things – plan, ponder, ruminate. These three facets work together within us, seamlessly, at the same time. Together, the three make us human.
We know this from natural law - the set of universal truths, derived from nature, common to all humans, discovered through reason. And the fact that we have bodies, feelings, and thoughts may seem obvious. But the obvious things can be the profound ones… and can teach us the most. So let’s dig in.
Everything in nature has a body, or “is embodied” (a fancier way of saying the same thing). A mouse, milk, bacteria, a rock, hydrogen gas. Embodiment is how we know a physical thing is real… and then the thing’s qualities are how we recognize them. You know a lemon is a lemon because it’s yellow, soft, has seeds, and produces sour juice. Being embodied and having essence are givens for every thing in nature – a lemon just shows up in the world how it is.
Only a few things in nature have “spirit,” a term the ancients used to describe instincts, feelings, and urges. (This is different from the way people of faith use the term “spirit” today, so don’t get confused!) Only humans and animals have it. Humans and dogs both feel cold, excited, hungry, angry, tired, interested in sex… but trees, apples, and pebbles don’t. For this reason, the spirit part of humans is sometimes called the “animal nature.” Spirit qualities – again: feelings, urges, and instincts – aren’t rational qualities; we don’t think about them. They just happen in certain circumstances, without our intending them.
Only humans have the “mind,” also called the “rational nature.” Only we have the capacity to think, reason, and choose. We are unique, in the all the world, in this way. The rationale nature is the source of human dignity and makes us innately worthy of a type respect that’s due nothing else in the world. The pagan Roman philosopher Cicero, way back in 50 BC, referred to humans’ rational nature as “bearing the image of God.”
So humans have three parts – body, spirit (feeling/instinct), and mind (reason). Also, we function best when all three parts are working together in the most integrated way possible. The parts are innately connected, but they can pull apart or together. When they pull apart, which happens often in the modern world with our tendency to silo and compartmentalize, it creates stress and difficulty. When they pull together towards the good, it fosters flourishing.
Back to sleep – a good, part of the basic good of life and health. But if your body’s tired but your mind’s on overdrive, the two aspects are out of sync and that thwarts sleep. Or if your body’s tired but you’re weeping on your pillow because your emotions are overwhelmed (say with sorrow or rage), you won’t be able to sleep. The goal would be to help all facets of the self work together to achieve the good of sleep. When they do work together, there is integration among the parts of the self, which lets us thrive. When they don’t, there is disintegration which hurts us.
Sleep is a useful, simplistic example. But the concept is relevant to virtually every aspect of life and personhood.
The goal? Tend to body and spirit and mind.
Sleep well! (I know, easier said than done.) Engage in the digital world wisely and with restraint. Pursue knowledge, and play, and beauty in integrated ways. Seek to bring, ultimately, all three aspects of your person into the process in healthy ways… always pointed at the good. Flourishing is the payoff.
We got this!