The root of the problem as you alluded to is selfishness. We live in an all about me culture where if I'm not comfortable something must be wrong. Putting others before self writes the date on the calendar in ink and subordinates anything better that might come along.
I agree. We are all very experienced in making ourselves comfortable and comparatively inexperienced in tolerating discomfort (more so than ages past). Setting aside selfishness is the key to many problems and issues, and this is certainly one.
I think the rampant self-care culture is part of this problem. We have been encouraged for years to consider ourselves and our wants first and foremost. The idea of simply doing something that others would like us to do has become unappealing, uncomfortable, and easy to avoid. Sure, there are times to rest or say “no” to yet another commitment, but it’s important to say “yes” to opportunities presented to us from people we value and love.
Couldn't agree more. We are subtly trained by our culture to consider our own needs, preferences, energy levels as a first priority, and to the exclusion of other considerations and factors... and this is ultimately a vice.
There are parallels here to the desire (demand) for more people to work from home, and not be present in a work place where you can flourish through true human interaction. This is especially the case with younger demographics who have not had the years to develop the traits and character-bulding that come with in-person experiences and mentoring. A genneration of unhappiness and well-being (depression) has surfaced with the increased isilation. Zoom calls and Google Meet do not relationships make.
This is a great point. I resonate with your phrase "develop the traits and character-building that comes with in-person experiences and mentoring." You're so right: it takes time and actual practice. Healthy engagement with others is cultivated. Working (mostly) from home fosters disembodiment and promotes the same kind of dissociative and consumption-oriented mindset that is described here. It can be done well but most often isn't, especially for those who (as you say) haven't had prior experience in primarily in-person settings.
thank you for this post!! I often am the "bailee", not to be rude, but due to my severe tinnitus, which makes crowds difficult. I see that is my excuse for avoiding "human" moments. You know, the ones that make the best memories...lol. We all need other humans.
I also have significant tinnitus and I can certainly relate to this. And I also agree with you that we all can make excuses for why we can't gather in person. There is a balance between appropriate regard for one's self and real limits (and not over-committing)... and tending well to sociability and friendship. The middle space is the good space!
The root of the problem as you alluded to is selfishness. We live in an all about me culture where if I'm not comfortable something must be wrong. Putting others before self writes the date on the calendar in ink and subordinates anything better that might come along.
I agree. We are all very experienced in making ourselves comfortable and comparatively inexperienced in tolerating discomfort (more so than ages past). Setting aside selfishness is the key to many problems and issues, and this is certainly one.
I think the rampant self-care culture is part of this problem. We have been encouraged for years to consider ourselves and our wants first and foremost. The idea of simply doing something that others would like us to do has become unappealing, uncomfortable, and easy to avoid. Sure, there are times to rest or say “no” to yet another commitment, but it’s important to say “yes” to opportunities presented to us from people we value and love.
Couldn't agree more. We are subtly trained by our culture to consider our own needs, preferences, energy levels as a first priority, and to the exclusion of other considerations and factors... and this is ultimately a vice.
There are parallels here to the desire (demand) for more people to work from home, and not be present in a work place where you can flourish through true human interaction. This is especially the case with younger demographics who have not had the years to develop the traits and character-bulding that come with in-person experiences and mentoring. A genneration of unhappiness and well-being (depression) has surfaced with the increased isilation. Zoom calls and Google Meet do not relationships make.
This is a great point. I resonate with your phrase "develop the traits and character-building that comes with in-person experiences and mentoring." You're so right: it takes time and actual practice. Healthy engagement with others is cultivated. Working (mostly) from home fosters disembodiment and promotes the same kind of dissociative and consumption-oriented mindset that is described here. It can be done well but most often isn't, especially for those who (as you say) haven't had prior experience in primarily in-person settings.
thank you for this post!! I often am the "bailee", not to be rude, but due to my severe tinnitus, which makes crowds difficult. I see that is my excuse for avoiding "human" moments. You know, the ones that make the best memories...lol. We all need other humans.
I also have significant tinnitus and I can certainly relate to this. And I also agree with you that we all can make excuses for why we can't gather in person. There is a balance between appropriate regard for one's self and real limits (and not over-committing)... and tending well to sociability and friendship. The middle space is the good space!
And you're right: we all need other humans.